" Joe apologized.Selena kept her forward stare but raised her hands in fists as if talking to the dash."THEY TALK SO FRANKLY ABOUT SUCH INTIMATE SEX!! How can I compete with that!!!" she spat out through gritted teeth."There is no competition, Selena. You've won till you tell me you don't want it."Joe emphasized."But Joe, I'm not sexually versed enough for you. You've spent nights with either one of those two tonight that have eclipsed my whole experience." Selena! Am I demanding anything of you? Do you know the difference between fucking and making love? When I'm with one of them it's the same as another guy playing racquetball to blow off steam. It's recreation. Yes, I'm a pig, but it's so readily available and when I have no love of my own, I am weak. Let's take our relationship a day at a time and let it happen. I make no demands of you, except to open yourself up to me and let me show you how I can appreciate you and your feelings you may have for me."Selena finally turned her. I was getting so confused. Who was this woman I was supposed to respect? No one has told me anything! Who does she think she is? I blushed at my disrespectful thoughts. Who am I to even think about such things! Stop thinking like a vanilla person! Where was my grounding? Why did I feel so inadequate around others in the lifestyle? Biting my lip and trying to stay calm, I realised I still had so much to learn. Trying to stay calm, I rose to tidy up when the finished eating. Lydia addressed me. "Dominique, do that later. Be a dear and refresh my drink for me, would you?" I glanced at Andrew and his eyes narrowed. I better be good here. Just do as your told. You can do it. "Yes, Miss Lydia," I said, stacking the plates and putting them aside. While I was pouring her a new drink, they talked quietly amongst themselves. Why did I feel so left out? Why did I feel the need to be 'in the loop'? Was it a hangover from my vanilla days? What do I do if she starts commanding me? Surely Andrew.
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